Spend time making memories, not buying things.
What is a favorite family outing you went on this year?
As a single mom, I don't have as much money as I'd like to have expendable to take my kids out on outings or to do things that usually would cost a pretty penny. In April, I was blessed with the settlement from Steve's passing. With some of that money, I took Liam on the dream vacation to Disney World for his 5th birthday that Steve had been talking about since we found out I was pregnant.
That SHOULD be my favorite family outing. A trip down to Disney, where we experienced so much magic and Liam had so much joy and we were able to leave real life behind for 8 days.
But it isn't.
My favorite family outing this year is very simple, and its incredibly close to our home. When our family was blessed with B in June, Liam had a very hard time. He didn't want to share mommy's attention, mommy's lap, mommy's time, the dinner table, his toys, pretty much anything and everything. Truthfully, I couldn't, wouldn't, and won't blame him. For 5 years it had been just he and I, and we had a routine down to a science. With a 1 year old in our home now, one that needed a lot of attention from me, Liam felt displaced and out of sorts. He knew that I was still mommy, I still loved him unconditionally, but the expectation of having a brother was far from the reality of having a brother.
After three weeks of adjustment, the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Liam woke up with a plan in his head, He came to me and said, "Mommy, I want to take B to the aquarium. I don't think he's ever been." I was completely taken aback, because it was the first time that he had ever so much as mentioned doing something with both myself and B. With the knowledge that the aquarium, on a Saturday, on a long holiday weekend, would probably be like Target on Black Friday, I gritted my teeth and said, "Yes. Yes we can do that." I wasn't sure what would happen when we would get there. I wasn't sure what would happen to Liam's desire to hang out with his brother if I said no, or even said "later," and suggested another outing. HE had decided this was what he wanted to do with his brother.
I packed up both kids, lunch in tow with us, and prayed. I prayed that I was making the right choice. I prayed that this would mean that Liam was beginning to see B as part of our family, and not just a kid that was passing through for a short while. I prayed that I kept my patience (though I didn't pray TOO hard for that, I must say, because I've noticed that whenever I pray for patience, God generally answers with situations I really need a WHOLE LOT of patience in.) I prayed that whatever Liam hoped to gain from this trip, he would.
We stayed about 2 hours, and during that time, I watched Liam completely transform. He welcomed B into his world. He began teaching B about the animals and the ins and outs of the aquarium. He wanted to be sure that we didn't miss the sea lion show because he wanted to ensure his brother was able to see it, "from a good seat."
Yes, Disney World is certainly memorable. It absolutely is something that Liam talks about to this day, and I feel honored and blessed that it was able to happen. But it's not the trip or outing that had the most impact. A simple day to the aquarium began a bond between brothers. One that needed time to grow and evolve, and is still ever-changing. It was during this trip that Liam began to see B as someone he could teach, someone that he had some impact on. It was during this trip that B began to see Liam as his older brother, as his protector.
I'm grateful that I said that yes, instead of a no or suggesting something else. I'm grateful for what that short trip to the aquarium did for those boys' relationship. I took a picture towards the end of the trip where the boys were standing in front of the Beluga whale tank, Liam is explaining to B how the whales breathe, and all you can see is their backs, with Liams finger pointing to a part of the whale as it swam towards them. It's hanging in my bedroom as a reminder of that trip.
While our entire family changed when B came into our lives, it wasn't until that day that I knew that our family would be, and could be, built on love and that we'd always be there for one another, for however long our family looks like this. It also gives me hope and makes me grateful that I know that this is what will happen with any other kids we're blessed to have in our home. It will always be an adjustment period. It will always be tough. It will always be challenging. But a 5 year old boy showed me that when we can forget the tough, and share the love, we always more love given to us than we are pouring out.
As a single mom, I don't have as much money as I'd like to have expendable to take my kids out on outings or to do things that usually would cost a pretty penny. In April, I was blessed with the settlement from Steve's passing. With some of that money, I took Liam on the dream vacation to Disney World for his 5th birthday that Steve had been talking about since we found out I was pregnant.
That SHOULD be my favorite family outing. A trip down to Disney, where we experienced so much magic and Liam had so much joy and we were able to leave real life behind for 8 days.
But it isn't.
My favorite family outing this year is very simple, and its incredibly close to our home. When our family was blessed with B in June, Liam had a very hard time. He didn't want to share mommy's attention, mommy's lap, mommy's time, the dinner table, his toys, pretty much anything and everything. Truthfully, I couldn't, wouldn't, and won't blame him. For 5 years it had been just he and I, and we had a routine down to a science. With a 1 year old in our home now, one that needed a lot of attention from me, Liam felt displaced and out of sorts. He knew that I was still mommy, I still loved him unconditionally, but the expectation of having a brother was far from the reality of having a brother.
After three weeks of adjustment, the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Liam woke up with a plan in his head, He came to me and said, "Mommy, I want to take B to the aquarium. I don't think he's ever been." I was completely taken aback, because it was the first time that he had ever so much as mentioned doing something with both myself and B. With the knowledge that the aquarium, on a Saturday, on a long holiday weekend, would probably be like Target on Black Friday, I gritted my teeth and said, "Yes. Yes we can do that." I wasn't sure what would happen when we would get there. I wasn't sure what would happen to Liam's desire to hang out with his brother if I said no, or even said "later," and suggested another outing. HE had decided this was what he wanted to do with his brother.
I packed up both kids, lunch in tow with us, and prayed. I prayed that I was making the right choice. I prayed that this would mean that Liam was beginning to see B as part of our family, and not just a kid that was passing through for a short while. I prayed that I kept my patience (though I didn't pray TOO hard for that, I must say, because I've noticed that whenever I pray for patience, God generally answers with situations I really need a WHOLE LOT of patience in.) I prayed that whatever Liam hoped to gain from this trip, he would.
We stayed about 2 hours, and during that time, I watched Liam completely transform. He welcomed B into his world. He began teaching B about the animals and the ins and outs of the aquarium. He wanted to be sure that we didn't miss the sea lion show because he wanted to ensure his brother was able to see it, "from a good seat."
Yes, Disney World is certainly memorable. It absolutely is something that Liam talks about to this day, and I feel honored and blessed that it was able to happen. But it's not the trip or outing that had the most impact. A simple day to the aquarium began a bond between brothers. One that needed time to grow and evolve, and is still ever-changing. It was during this trip that Liam began to see B as someone he could teach, someone that he had some impact on. It was during this trip that B began to see Liam as his older brother, as his protector.
I'm grateful that I said that yes, instead of a no or suggesting something else. I'm grateful for what that short trip to the aquarium did for those boys' relationship. I took a picture towards the end of the trip where the boys were standing in front of the Beluga whale tank, Liam is explaining to B how the whales breathe, and all you can see is their backs, with Liams finger pointing to a part of the whale as it swam towards them. It's hanging in my bedroom as a reminder of that trip.
While our entire family changed when B came into our lives, it wasn't until that day that I knew that our family would be, and could be, built on love and that we'd always be there for one another, for however long our family looks like this. It also gives me hope and makes me grateful that I know that this is what will happen with any other kids we're blessed to have in our home. It will always be an adjustment period. It will always be tough. It will always be challenging. But a 5 year old boy showed me that when we can forget the tough, and share the love, we always more love given to us than we are pouring out.
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